"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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