I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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