Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Two words: blizzard sex
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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