Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize