your thong is hanging out like whoa
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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