i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
