i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
