Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
