it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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