No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize