This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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