so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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