Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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