but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
