you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
