we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
