Do you still have your period?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
