When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
