can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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