Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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