Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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