So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
