fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
