I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
