Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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