Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
kristin has been a bad kristin
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
