I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
