too bad you live with your parents still
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
