Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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