you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
