I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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