I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
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