i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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