That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
