This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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