Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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