"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
