Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
