It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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