I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
