Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
