i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
