I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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