Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
