Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
