i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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