My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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