Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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