My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
