That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
