I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
