his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
